I first met Jesus when I was 9 years old while attending a First Baptist Church in my home town of Manchester, New Hampshire. Each Sunday I would listen closely to what the preacher was preaching about and soon enough I wanted that love of Jesus. I really wanted the love of Jesus for my mother more than for me.
At the time I was a fatherless child being raised by my mother. She was a very depressed mother but she did the best she could at raising me however she was a very over protecting mom but, I loved her dearly. I would do anything to try to make her smile or laugh. Occasionally she would laugh but not to often. My mother would attend church with me. She remained depressed through out her period of church attendance.
Well anyhow, she allowed me to join the Boy Scouts there at the church and I eventually made it all the way to Eagle Scout at the age of 12.
Sometime during the Boy Scout years I finally accepted Jesus and asked to be baptized. Soon after being baptized my mom decided to stop going to church and that meant me as well. Therefore, once again I was away from the love of Jesus or so I thought.
I quit school at the beginning of my last year of high school and decided to join the Army. Leaving my mother for boot camp was very hard on me with all of mothers crying and all.
During my military years I attended church only once in a while. I was more involved with the drug scene [self medication] than I was going to church.
I was stationed in Germany where hash was a big seller and it wasn't long before I was smoking hash. Smoking this hash allowed me to feel good and found my self liking it a little to much. However,I would eventually realize that Jesus was always there in the midst of whatever I was doing but I couldn't stop the use of this drug. Jesus saved my life more than once while in Germany...no not war...He kept me from war; I'm talking about car accidents and drug overdoses.
Every time I would feel bad about what I was doing I would attend church and pray about it, but I still couldn't stop the use of the drug. Therefore, I came home a drug addict.
My drug of choice after I got home was marijuana. In just a few years I graduated to crack cocaine because this drug made me feel even better. Now, this drug is dangerous but at the time I didn't care. I ended up going to two mandatory treatment programs with no success...well, only for about a year of abstinence; then the use of crack cocaine returned.
Another few years of crack cocaine was enough for me. Remembering what happened to Paul on the road to Damascus I was serious this time so, I called on Jesus Christ one more time. I had already lost two marriages by then and was at my wits end. But, even during these years I knew the Lord was with me.
I was now classified as a recovering "addict"; I was told I had an "Addictive Personality." I was recovering with the help of Lord Jesus Christ.
I then realized that God had never forsaken me...no not even once. I am still a recovering addict thanks to Jesus.
I was finally diagnosed bi-polar with clinical depression and was finally put on the right medication and didn't need the cocaine anymore to feel joy and to be able to laugh again.
My mom must of been bi-polar also but it was never diagnosed, in her days depression went untreated. She went her whole life with this disease. I wished she could of been as fortunate as I am. The medication which I now take keeps me in tune with the Lord's Positive aspects of my life
I now have this website ministry which the Lord has so graciously allowed me to create. If it wasn't for jesus I'd be dead. Illegal drugs is no longer a concern of mine. Jesus is now the head of my life and I now have victories rather than failures. I still have an "Addictive Personality" but, I am now addicted to this website and the scriptures. Amen! If you have journeyed this far into my world then maybe we have something in common. Either you are a curious person or you are searching for a deeper understanding of the Kingdom of God. If this is you then we do have something in common. I have been studying the Word of God for many years and I have found that the road is definitely a narrow one; fighting with the devil at every turn. The devil is an awesome adversary and most people do not want to acknowledge this fact. In fact, most people seem to think he has no hold nor control on them. Well, if you think like that then he has you in his grasp already. You see, the Spiritual Battle begins as soon as you accept Jesus Christ as Lord of your life.
I remember a few years ago when I thought with all my being that the Lord had called me to be a preacher. Oh, it was a very nice thought but I came to realize that God had not called me to be a preacher...He called me to be a student first then, a teacher. I started to know the scriptures inside and out, oh yes, I could quote scripture with the best of them. The only Continuing problem I have now is this spiritual battle between the flesh and the spirit, the same problem we all have as Christians.
If you are having a constant spiritual battle in your life then you are on the right road and at the right web-site. Keep up the good fight. We all must work out our own salvation and continually fight this fight with the help of Jesus Christ our Lord. It also helps to have other Christians to help us along the way. Believe me, we need all the help we can get!!!
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